


Wagyu Is About as Expensive as This Conversation

by MajorIndecision



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pocket Monsters: Sword & Shield | Pokemon Sword & Shield Versions
Genre: Implied Relationships, M/M, Original Character(s), Out of Character, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:55:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26626327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorIndecision/pseuds/MajorIndecision
Summary: “He’s a good man,” Kabu murmured, breaking apart his chopsticks, “but he’s half my age—”“Wait, he’s not a minor?”Kabu gave Nanu an incredulous look. “You thought he was a minor? Is that why you were so upset?”“He’s over the age of eighteen?”“He’s got facial hair.”“The sideburns don’t hide the baby face, Kabu.”--or--Kabu's running a little late for his weekly dinner with his good friend Nanu. Nanu gets a tad miffed.
Relationships: Kabu (Pokemon) & Original Male Character(s), Kabu (Pokemon)/Original Male Character(s), Kabu/Kuchinashi | Nanu
Comments: 3
Kudos: 24





	Wagyu Is About as Expensive as This Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I wrote this fic in the span of an hour or so to satiate my desire for content with Kabu!  
> It's pasted directly from Google Docs, so there might be formatting issues!
> 
> Please leave comments/kudos if you enjoy, it'll motivate me to write more!  
> Thank you so much!! )))

Finally, the guest of honor slid into the seat across from him. Nanu barely looked up from his phone. “Look who finally decided to show up,” uttered the kahuna boredly, stealing a glance at the gym leader before him.

Kabu flashed one of those charming smiles, dabbing at the sweat beading against his forehead with his towel; Nanu’s brows shot up. _First time he’s been in uniform._

“My apologies, Nanu. I had some business in Wyndon. I’ll refrain from keeping you waiting in the future.”

Nanu cocked a brow. _Wyndon? You mean the city on the opposite side of the region?_ “You didn’t jog here again, did you?”

Kabu gave a light-hearted chuckle. “You know me too well.”

Nanu fumbled boredly with the straw in his drink. He averts his gaze, glancing around the establishment. _Relatively empty. Unusual for a Friday night. I’m guessing that’s got something to do with his trip to Wyndon._

“To make up for making you wait, I’ll foot the bill,” says Kabu. He was pulling off his towel, smoothing it against his lap. Nanu studied his expression and found a hint of worry buried deep within the Man of Fire.

 _You’re not up to something illegal, are you, old man? Don’t make me do my job on vacation,_ Nanu huffed. Kabu glanced up at the exhalation.

“You aren’t too upset with me, surely?”

Nanu, really, could have just asked—but he always liked guessing games and tasks that required contemplation and awareness. Besides, Kabu was an expert at deflecting the subject. He thought for a moment before shifting his position at the table, leaning forward boredly and rolling the straw around inside the cup with a finger.

“Can’t believe people just let you take off jogging like that,” he prodded. “What, you don’t tell anyone else where you’re going, either?”

The quip stung a little, the kahuna could tell. Good—that meant he was more likely to get the intel he was prodding for. Kabu rubbed at the back of his head under Nanu’s keen gaze. “Honestly, I meant to get here sooner,” he tries.

Nanu’s eyes narrow a fraction. _That implies that this was a planned event. If something had come up suddenly, surely, you would have warned me. You planned to get here faster from something that was scheduled days in advance._

“A text would have been nice,” mutters the kahuna.

“I didn’t get a chance. It wasn’t something I could decline, unfortunately.”

Nanu’s eyes swept over the uniform again. He locked eyes with Nanu, something clicking in his head. Abruptly, he stated: “Battle with the Champion in Wyndon.”

Kabu chuckled, and as he did, Nanu’s lips split into a grin. “You’re bad at this, old-timer.”

Kabu laughed whole-heartedly, clasping his hands at the back of his neck. “You had me going for a moment there! I thought you were really upset with me.”

A sly grin danced across the kahuna’s features. “Well, I wouldn’t be a very good officer if I couldn’t control and conceal my emotions, hm? So, give me the details.”

Kabu sighed, leaning forward. “First, tell me this: what’d you order?”

“Hm? Yellowtail and Dragon Rolls, what you usually get on a boring day. For myself? The Wagyu.”

Kabu smoothed a hand over his chest. “You’re really making me pay for that?”

“Technically,” hummed the kahuna, ducking his eyes down to glance at his phone again, “I’m not _making_ you pay for anything. You offered.”

Nanu abandoned the task of messing with his straw and drink to type something into his phone’s search engine. Kabu had just received his own drink from the waiter. “Sake?”

“Figured you’d need it, after whatever was holding you up,” supplied the kahuna, still staring down at his phone screen. _A barbaracle? A unique choice._

“I’m never going to get used to that request. I was itching to text you after I realized I’d be a bit late—almost flagged a flying taxi. I’ve never met anyone who prefers a mystery…”

“It tests my skills of deductive reasoning,” Nanu glanced back up at him. “If you’re about to die, you probably shouldn’t leave it up to me to find out. Speaking of die, he absolutely _slaughtered_ you, huh?”

Kabu paused, face reddening. Nanu glanced back at his phone, continuing: “I mean, you didn’t even put a dent in that Barbaracle’s health, I bet. And one-shotting your Centiskorch with his—what is it, _Gigantimax_ Toxtricity? Must have been humiliating. You should buy me tickets.”

Kabu sighed, taking ahold of his towel again to brush over his cheek. “One of these days, Kahuna Officer Nanu, I’m going to tease back.”

Nanu put his phone flat against the table. “No, don’t do that. My gut still hurts from last time. And my thighs.”

The Man of Fire smiled. “You’re always welcome to join me on a morning run.”

Nanu scowled. “The only way I’m joining you again is if I’m held hostage against my will or there’s been a death in the family. And the death might be me, at that point.”

Kabu laughed. “I'll invite one of the other gym leaders, then.”

Nanu hooked his fingers together, leaning against the table and eyeing the fire-type gym leader with a piercing gaze. “What about Marius?”

Just as the dark-type specialist was expecting, Kabu showed the slightest signs of choking up. The hesitation made Nanu’s eyes narrow. “The champion? What about him?” asked Kabu, clearing his throat.

 _Don’t play coy, Kabu. I’ve seen how that boy acts around you. Don’t tell me you’re doing what I think you’re doing._ “He seems awfully fond of you, wouldn’t you say?”

The food came by. Kabu accepted it with thanks to the wait staff and cooks, fully knowing that Nanu would be all over him again once they were in relative privacy once more. He made eye contact. “It isn’t what you’re thinking.”

The stern tone to his voice gives Nanu pause. The kahuna leans back, easing up slightly. He takes up his utensils to try his expensive steak “The crush is unrequited, then?”

“He’s a good man,” Kabu murmured, breaking apart his chopsticks, “but he’s half my age—”

“Wait, he’s not a minor?”

Kabu gave Nanu an incredulous look. “You thought he was a minor? Is that why you were so upset?”

“He’s over the age of eighteen?”

“He’s got facial hair.”

“The sideburns don’t hide the baby face, Kabu.” Nanu moves to take a drink of his sake, which had already been refilled. “If he’s legal, he’s all yours.”

Kabu’s face reddened. He swallowed his sushi before speaking: “I have no interest in him, Nanu.”

“Shame. He seems awfully infatuated with you.”

“I know,” groaned Kabu. Nanu watched the other man pinch the bridge of his nose as though fending off a headache. “He confessed to me recently. I’m trying to help him find someone his own age.”

“What if his type is old guys?”

“Mature, Nanu. His type is mature.”

“His type is old.”

Kabu made defiant eye contact. “Not necessarily. If his type was old, he’d be attracted to you. But since his type is _mature,_ you don’t quite fit the requirements.”

Nanu nearly spit out his sake. “Arceus, Kabu,” he muttered, “I keep forgetting you’ve got the verbal equivalent of Payback.”

The Man of Fire smiles again, popping another bit of sushi into his mouth and enjoying his meal before continuing: “Now that I’ve got your attention again, maybe you could give me some genuine advice. I’m trying to make it clear to Mozz that he—”

“Stop. Mozz? His name is Marius.”

“Mozz is the nickname he goes by.”

“Where the hell does he get that from?”

“Nanu,” warned Kabu. He waited until the kahuna’s mouth was full to try continuing the conversation. “He’s a very talented and polite young man, but a relationship with our gap in experience would just be inappropriate. That being said, he had the courage to approach me, and I can’t let his fear of our relationship being ruined prove true—”

“Technically,” Nanu interrupted, through a mouth full of steak, “you could.”

Kabu’s eyes narrowed. Nanu wasn’t sure whether it was what he was insinuating or the talking with his mouth full. He swallowed. “Just saying. It isn’t your job to play matchmaker for this kid.”

“Maybe not,” Kabu agrees, “but I want him to feel as though he isn’t alone. I’m here for him. That’s what friends are for.”

“So you’re friend-zoning him, but you’re keeping it consistent.”

“Nanu.”

“What? I’ve read enough shitty romance novels to know where this is going, Kabu. You’re either going to cave and fuck the kid anyway, or you’ll both have a big fight and never talk to each other again.”

“If only you spent as much time reading as you did training those meowths of yours, maybe you wouldn’t lose to twelve-year-olds.”

Nanu almost choked again. “Look who’s talking,” he grumbled, wiping sauce off of his chin. Kabu popped one of the last pieces of sushi into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed.

“One of us has Pokémon that make the gym challengers completely rethink their strategy, and the other is a crazy cat cop.”

“Arceus, can you quit going for my throat? Can we go back to when we first met and you were too shocked at my audacity to bite back?”

“You can’t order a 500p steak and expect me not to feel rather strongly about your character, Nanu.”

Nanu grumbled, fishing out his wallet. “Fine, we’ll split the bill.”

Kabu smiled and waved the wait staff over. Nanu glanced up. _Doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, old man. I’m gonna get the other side of this story._

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I listened to Kahuna Officer Nanu's Theme on repeat while writing this fic.
> 
> I wonder how Nanu would react to knowing how many people online call him "daddy" ?


End file.
